Series of Interactions

Image source: khalilcenter.com

I have come to view life from the lens of it being a series of interactions with varying individuals at different stages in our lives. From childhood to adulthood, our exposure, knowledge and experiences are shaped by our various interactions with the world around us and other people across time and location. Usually starting within our families, our sphere of interactive influence grows as we advance and move through the different phases of our lives.

This line of thought came to me as I pondered on my apprehension when encountering new people generally and particularly in a work based environment. This unease becomes more apparent in situations where I have to depend on or rely on these other people for any number of outcomes; otherwise it’s usually fun meeting new folks.

At the root of this anxiety I believe is a fear of judgement and an unwillingness to relinquish total control over the outcomes of my life and work. That feeling of dependency on others to be able to carry out a task or project successfully; having to get their buy-in and generally getting along with them is such a burdensome hurdle to overcome for a loner such as myself.

More often than not, I am more worried about potential temperamental clashes than my actual performance at a prospective new job for instance. I play out all conceivable disagreements, disappointing looks and disapproving thoughts and end up convincing myself that a change of job isn’t a good idea. I end up staying with the familiar and self-sabotaging efforts at something better or should I say something that comes with a new set of interactions.

But a new job or a new business prospect beyond tasks, responsibilities and deliverables, is merely a series of entwined interactions with colleagues, clients or suppliers as the case may be. How well we navigate this web of interpersonal relationships can often determine to a large extent how happy we are at a place or point in time. 

I'm sure there's a point to be made here about happiness being something that comes from within but sometimes, beyond the fantastic remuneration and job perks, an overbearing boss, disapproving colleagues or a high handed client, can make the difference between bliss and misery during time spent at a job. How much control we have over any of this is debatable but having the right mind-set, being sure of ourselves and our capabilities and being unafraid to put ourselves out there will certainly help.

Of course like many challenges in life, we have to work through dealing with different personalities, temperaments and situations throughout our lives; some of us will be better at it than others. But I guess one of the points to be made is that it can help to view tasks, challenges, opportunities and so on, as a web of interactions to be skilfully managed and in so doing come up with a winning strategy.

So, whether it’s a job interview, meeting would be in-laws for the first time or embarking on a large, cross-functional project, the ability to prepare for and efficiently manage relationships with the people involved can help move towards positive outcomes. But more importantly, an unwavering belief in ourselves in spite of a fear of criticism is a critical step towards being better in our lives and at whatever we do.